10 Fictional Sports In Video Games, Ranked By How Well The Average Person Could Do
The majority of people have played at least one sport while they were growing up, whether that be through school or in some kind of fun league. Outside of that, many of us drew the line there as we discovered a distinct lack of sporting ability, leaving most sports as a complete mystery.
In games, there have been tons of unique sports introduced over the years and there’s no sugar-coating it, they all look incredibly difficult. Still, the average person would surely like to try some of these fictional sports, even if they wouldn’t necessarily excel at them. There’s no shame in admitting it, I know I wouldn’t cut it in any of these sports. However, we aren't exploring sports we'd be fantastic at, but rather ranking them according to how well we think we'd do. Assuming we survive the experience.
10 Quidditch – Harry Potter: Quidditch World Cup
Despite the world that makes up the Harry Potter franchise having plenty of unique aspects and a number of great games, I truly don’t think anyone normal could make it through a game of Quidditch. You are flying through the air on a broom with no protection. Forget bludgers, I’d probably just fall off.
It’s nice to think that you could zip around like the characters from the games and movies do, but a shocking amount of people haven’t ever even picked up a broom, so I don’t exactly trust most people to fly around on one.
9 Grifball – Halo
Considering there really isn’t a way to play Halo's Grifball without absolutely decimating the team you’re playing against, I don’t think we will see Grifball being played anytime soon. Most people would describe it as a kind of hardcore rugby with a lot more violence involved.
Everyone loves when their favorite sports get a little brutal, but considering a player can literally become a “killionaire” during a game of Grifball, I’m going to go ahead and guess that most of humanity will be against anyone ever trying the game out.
8 Cartoonishly Deadly Demolition Derby – Cel Damage
Sure, Twisted Metal is the easy go-to for a realistic demolition derby, but the added cartoonishly unique nature of Cel Damage’s derby makes it even harder to believe that anyone could do well. Imagine getting ready to bop some fools only to immediately be struck by a freeze ray and harpooned across the map.
Even if you did manage to get started and look for weapons, we’d all probably end up falling into a cartoon black hole, something that would swallow our hopes of ever managing to make a mark on the world of demolition derbys.
7 Terror Is Reality – Dead Rising 2
Sure, Terror Is Reality is technically a competition show, but it really is often treated more like a sport than a general competition. Some people might be able to see some success in a sport like this, if they can get over the whole having to slaughter zombies that were once living people thing.
Yes, for anyone to thrive in Terror Is Reality, they have to be both excellent on a motorcycle and quite possibly one of the most depraved people on the planet. Humans can suck, but I’ll give the world the benefit of the doubt and say that 99 percent of people wouldn’t cut it in Terror Is Reality.
6 Pod-Racing – Star Wars Episode 1: Racer
With Pod-Racing being considered one of the most dangerous sports in Star Wars lore, it may be shocking to see it so far up this list. The thing is, for how many bad drivers exist, there are just as many incredible drivers.
I wouldn’t be surprised to see the best stunt drivers managing to find plenty of success with something like Pod-Racing. Sure, they’d have to avoid general exploding, and other racers sabotaging them, but I think it’s something that could work with the right folks involved.
5 Blitzball – Final Fantasy X
Someone being able to be decent at Blitzball kind of depends on humanity actually figuring out a way to play the water-based game in the first place. If we made it past that hurdle, it's actually a game that I think the average person would have a blast playing.
Imagine it; you make a big play and score the game-winning goal hoping to hear a huge explosion of cheers, but instead, the only one in attendance is Tidus laughing to cheer you on. Sounds like living the dream to me.
4 Rocket-Propelled Car Soccer – Rocket League
In another instance of, if humanity actually figured it out it would be great, I actually think people would be great at Rocket League. It may be horribly dangerous, and people may often be terrible drivers, but that's kind of the point.
Stunt drivers would probably have a field day with the game, but I think it would be much more fun if only the average person could compete. Someone who has had a license for years but still hits curbs would be great to watch as they attempt to put a ball in a net with that same car.
3 Full-Contact Hoverboarding – Sonic Riders
With hoverboards kind of actually existing at this point it feels like it's only a matter of time before people are zipping around them. If people can succeed on something like skateboards then I believe they can succeed on hoverboards.
As someone who has no coordination I know I couldn't do it, but I know plenty of average people with great skills. Maybe as long as people can't literally beat the rings out of each other, the sport could probably take off around the world. Let's just leave the chaos emeralds at home.
2 Pokemon Battling – Pokemon
Would people probably be able to thrive in Pokemon Battling if it were a real thing? Yes. Would those same people have to grasp the fact that they are making sentient beings beat the living hell out of each other for people's amusement? Absolutely.
It certainly wouldn't be right, but we could probably make it work. The only people capable of making adorable creatures hurt each other would have to be void of any empathy or guilt, so while it likely would not ever happen, the average person probably could do well, since no sporting prowess is required.
1 Super Frisbee-Pong – Windjammers 2
Okay, hold on, hear me out here. I have seen some incredible things from people who play frisbee at high levels. I absolutely think we could see some arcadey Windjammers-style action from some of the best players in the world.
Spice things up by giving people access to special items on the court and two average people could have a hilarious frisbee battle for the entertainment of millions. With enough time and money invested frisbee could somehow become the most popular sport in the world.
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