I Hope Overwatch Players Who Run Moira As DPS Stub Their Toes

Look, I’m a fair person. I believe in equal rights for all. I think we still have a long way to go to rebuild our society as one that is free and equitable. I think our justice system should be rehabilitative at its core, not punitive. If I may say so, I’m a good person. Open minded. Socially conscious. Peaceful. But I think Moira mains who play DPS instead of Support deserve death. Every single one of them.

The balance of Overwatch has shifted in Overwatch 2. With only one Tank on the field at any given time, it’s harder to win matches via brute force. Taking away a Tank has increased the value of every other role, including Support. I’m seeing a lot of Mercys and Lucios out there doing a fine job. They’re lingering near the Tank, staying on the objective, and on the lookout for DPS heroes in need of medicine. You know, playing Support. More than either of them though, I see Moira. I see her, but I never really get healed by her.

Moira is the most offensive hero, and I mean that in an attacking power sense rather than the woke sense. She can heal as well as any other Support character, but she causes way more damage on the front foot. Supports need to defend themselves – I’ve whipped my pistol out a few times as Mercy – but their focus needs to be on keeping the team alive. Moira has an ace in the hole with her firepower, but if she uses it all the time, we’re up a DPS hero and down a healer. It’s worse than ignoring the objective a lot of the time, because it actively makes everyone else’s time worse.

Typically there’s a shorter wait for the Support queue. Because of this, if you select the Open queue, you get thrust into Support too. You’ll get maybe one or two more games per hour as Moira, but then when you’re waiting for matches it’s not like you’re just staring at a screen – you get a no risk Deathmatch while you wait, meaning you’re constantly playing Overwatch, even if you’re waiting to play Overwatch. You can’t really take the game that seriously if you’re a DPS Moira, because then you’d know the most damage per second you’re causing is to your own team makeup.

Overwatch wait times are fine, and I even enjoy the little matches while queuing. With Mei taken from me, I’ve been bouncing between D.Va and Ashe, but these wait times offer a chance to experiment as Echo, Sobra, or Brigitte, all of whom I think I could have some fun with. Moira mains don’t like fun though. They don’t heal, instead they drain you with a vampiric smirk. They enjoy misery, even their own – it’s much harder to win with a Moira DPS on your team, so you need to be incredible at the game (in which case just play DPS), or else you’re probably racking up more kills than the average Support and still seeing your team lose.

I’m not even that great at Overwatch. I don’t take it that seriously. I never get mad at my DPS heroes for not blitzing through the team with headshot after headshot, I don’t expect my Tank to constantly hold the line so I can get kills, I don’t demand that my Support are always by my side healing me up… but I do expect them to heal someone up. Anyone, Moira! Literally heal anybody on the team besides yourself and then maybe we can talk. Spamming the heal animation before the game starts then immediately running off to take out Widowmaker does not count, sorry.

I have no problem playing with people who are bad at Overwatch. Considering how high the competitive ceiling is, I’m probably in the bottom half. I mess around in Unranked and Arcade most often, because I play it to relax. Losing doesn’t really bother me. It’s just not that important. But Moira infuriates me. I think it’s because I Support as Mercy and try to play it properly, even when I’d rather be riding Meka as D.Va.

I play at such a low level and care so little that I rarely see the Overwatch toxicity I hear so much about. Playing Unranked on console is very different to Competitive on PC, I guess. I just don’t care that much about winning. But Moira DPS mains probably deserve to be murdered. Yeah, I think that’s fair.

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