People Started Removing All The Gays From Skyrim, So A Modder Turned Everyone Gay
Apparently, gays in Skyrim are unrealistic. Oh, and so are women, and people of colour. Y'know, in the game about dragons and magic and shit, where you can become invisible by crouching right in front of someone. Immersion breaking, I tell you.
Well, some big boys wanted to do something about it – and removed any trace of queerness from the game. Apparently, just the idea that two guys liked each other was enough to boil the piss of these brave, terminally online dudebros, so they modded out the ability to marry anyone of the same sex. They even got rid of any mention that two guys can be more than friends from notes and journals, because god forbid we be subjected to such depravity. Somehow, Nexus Mods didn't take these creations down (despite having taken down mods for less) – so another modder took action themselves. Yep, they made everyone in Tamriel gay.
Only Same Sex Marriage from Crithion does exactly the opposite of Only Straight Marriages – everyone romancable NPC is now gay. It's already overtaken the popularity of two homophobic mods, with more downloads than the one that blocks gay marriage and the other which censors any mention of a queer couple combined.
The only step taken by Nexus staff so far is locking down comment sections, since I'm sure you can imagine what they turned in to. Still, it sounds like the creator of one of the chud mods has been a character for quite some time, with other mods painting a picture of someone so terrified of anything different that they must struggle to look outside the window.
"Ever found yourself wondering after a fight how most of a bandit fort happened to be female?" reads the description of the so-called Grounded Skyrim mod. "Or perhaps you fought your way through a camp of large Orcish bandits only to find the bandit chief being a dainty Breton woman? […] Maybe about why women are turning to a life of crime and banditry when they probably have families to support them? So many possible questions, yet no logical answer to them".
With any luck, the offending mods will be taken down, and the matter can be put to rest. In the meantime, I fully beg that the people crying about gays in their video games touch some grass. Observe the sun. Pretty much anything else, innit.
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