Wanking Simulator Is Real And We’re Ready For An Extinction Event

Yes, you read that title right. Someone has made a game called Wanking Simulator. Welcome to 2020. We’re all doomed.

This newest addition to the popular simulation genre was created by indie game developer MrCiastku. Its publisher, Ultimate Games S.A., recently revealed its release window and it looks like you might get a chance to play with it pretty soon.

Wanking Simulator is aiming to release within the first quarter of 2020, which means it could suddenly arrive any day now. Now, some people might not be able to wait that long, but thankfully there’s a demo that you can get your hands on right now if you want to see all of the splendor and glory that Wanking Simulator has to offer. You can find that on Steam, which has a giant “WANK NOW” button for you to click.

Wanking Simulator puts you in the shoes of a character named – sigh – Winston Gay who lives in a town called – double sigh – Gay Bay. His house was taken away by the government due to complaints about being too loud while he was engaging in his favorite pastime. So, driven by a wank-fueled rage, he runs around town destroying everything he can. It’s a perfectly sensible premise for a video game.

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So, besides the obvious titular activity, what else can you do in Wanking Simulator? Well, you’ll have access to a collection of superpowers that may or may not be related to your superhuman wanking abilities. You can also drive your uncle’s car because apparently you’ve been too busy focusing on your hobby to purchase an automobile. There will also be a sandbox mode, an endless wave arena mode, and challenges to complete.

The simulation genre has been home to some fairly unique titles in the past. While there are the standard, straight-laced games like Flight Simulator or Farming Simulator, there are also the more gonzo games like Surgeon Simulator, the upcoming Speaking Simulator, and the true GOAT of simulators: Goat Simulator. It looks like Wanking Simulator will be in good company.

We don’t know the exact release date as of yet, but if you can hold out a little longer, we’re sure Wanking Simulator will be here soon.

God help us all.

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